December 26th, 2017

this looks like my last grey cat

Those of us who struggle with emotions understand how difficult it is to endure unwanted feelings. Gary Cooper spoke for me in the film, High Noon.  He told his superior “he was chopping without chips,” believing his effort had no results, when it came to Allied air raids over Germany.  Cooper wanted to stop war’s enormous cost.

Feelings don’t last forever.  I struggle focusing on positive affirmations.  Fear took me over last week, and dissipated into a less invasive emotion.  Just in time for the holiday season to swing into full throttle.

It was rough to have my cat’s sun cancerous ear amputated this week, too.  The vet and I concurred my nineteen year-old cat deserves more time on this planet.  He survived, and wears the ‘cone of shame,’ currently zonked on pain medication, living in our bathroom for two weeks.  He’s chopping without chips, too.

Our Christmas tree improved the family’s mood, and brought joy.  My husband chose a little cedar, cut it, and it stands in water, to be taken down on January 1, 2018, like a guest who comes once a year.  We decorated with three boxes of Christmas lights, sentimental ornaments, and placed mother’s handmade stockings beside it.  She wrote with a Sharpie pen, A loving thought in every stitch on top of one of the boxes.

Traditions have moving parts.  The tree, attending a Christmas Eve children’s pageant at church, and reflecting when my kids played wise men and shepherds in the service.  I usually prepare a special dinner afterward, and the next morning we have ham warming in the oven.  I’m grateful for these things.

Most of my negativity comes when I forget life isn’t always about me.  I want another opportunity to choose positivity.  Happy holidays is what most people desire, isn’t it?  Winter equinox is over, spring is around the corner in about a hundred days.

It’s called living.



2 responses to “sustain”

  1. Wayback Machine says:

    Enduring setbacks is survival; just one aspect of “living.” Your cat is surviving now, to go on living. The whole array of experiences we have, good bad or indifferent, are what I call Living. So glad to be living on this planet with you. Good cheer comes from reading the Sharpie-written messages on every box. Happy Holidays!

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