comfort strategies

October 11th, 2016

warm feet are comforting

Seeking comfort can be a learned skill.  My counselor taught me how to feel better when I found myself overwhelmed by life.  She made suggestions I pass on in this blog.

She first recommended a book called something like “Ways to Create Comfort” which I read while standing in a bookstore. Thank you to the author whose name I do not recall at this time because there were some comforting tips.

One suggestion was to understand that comfort is a good thing.  We deserve to be treated with comfort and not be hard on ourselves.  It was suggested that I find warmth, with a cup of tea, bath, sitting wrapped in a blanket before a fire, even a candle and try to calm down.  Low lights provide a safe feeling, too.  I have set mood lights around my house at night, during times of great stress, and am lucky to have a fireplace.  When I was broke and struggling, neighbors let me to tear apart their old fences and haul them away in my Toyota Tercell, with a hatchback full of super dry firewood, enough for one evening.  I felt twice warmed, like I helped my neighbor and myself.

I stuffed my face with comfort foods and gained weight, not a good way to go.  The fat on my thighs did nothing to quiet my heart.

I struggle with reaching out to others.  I would rather bleed to death than call someone for a tourniquet.  My lifetime goal has been not to feel ashamed of needing comfort.  Healing happens when I pick up the phone and talk to a trusted friend.

I also used suggested psychological strategies, like “naming, claiming, and letting go.”  I isolate pain and discomfort by naming it, saying, “I feel hurt.”  I try and give up the emotion by praying for relief or by screaming to get the pain out of my body.

I can remember that discomfort will surely pass, and I will not die from negative feelings, even though it feels that way.

Writing this blog comforts me because I am telling the truth.  I pass on what learned, and trust that someone may read.  Perhaps some comforting tips may also work for others.

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