Pursuit of happiness is my American right. Thomas Jefferson wrote it into our Constitution, along with Life, and Liberty. ‘Unalienable rights” given by our Creator to be protected by our government. For decades I thought I just had to want it, and happiness would magically appear without strings. I didn’t have to work for it. Happiness takes commitment and action. I want the partner, the job, the car, the children, and the retirement package, so I can be happy and get my way. The word is pursuit, and it takes work to improve my life.
It took time and many mistakes to learn what I didn’t want. I crashed two marriages and lived with my own substance problem before I understood poor choices led to unhappy consequences for everyone. I couldn’t turn poor choices good ones. I’m currently pursuing a peaceful heart, and it makes sense to let go of things I can’t change.
My friend says she started questioning her motives because she realized she was the one who escalated family arguments. She started asking herself if fighting is worth the battle. Things are better in her family.
Pursuit can mask my need to control, so I welcome another growth opportunity to let go and pursue peace.
i think questioning our own motives is paramount to living an honest and happy life. i don’t think everyone is looking for or expecting a “happy” life. but for those of us who wish to be the best we can be, giving and receiving in ways that nurture internal and external peace, we must learn to question our motives, preferably BEFORE we speak or act. the more we practice the more it becomes natural or automatic to “lead with love.” most of us question our motive AFTER we have said or done something that we then find to be self-serving. we don’t have to always make a choice that is, in our view in that moment, good only for the other. we have to learn to lead with love for the other AND ourselves. it takes some of us a lifetime if we haven’t learned at a very early age that we ourselves are lovable.
welcoming growth and being willing to make changes where we can is the key to actually growing. it’s not always a lot of fun, but it is worth it.
Thank you for the ‘lead with love’ solution. I agree with you that love is the key.