callous indifference

July 26th, 2016

Oh my God, I’m not perfect!

Yesterday on the phone, a friend confronted me about something I said to her in a recent conversation, and I’m glad she did.  I previously made a flippant remark about something, and she didn’t like or understand where I was coming from.  She had self-esteem, and checked out why I said it.  The details don’t really matter, but what does matter is that she confronted me about why I said what I said, and she told me how she felt.  I was not trying to be a bitch, but my words came off as callous.  I owed her an apology for being insensitive.  She helped me by calling me on it.

My language has bigger consequences.

I do not want to lose a friend because I said something in a casual way that hurt her.  My speaking habit is to incorrectly speak for others, or dismiss a real concern.

I want to change.  I don’t care where I learned to say those things.   I do not want to cause harm in my life today.  I want to be a compassionate listener and not respond with callous indifference.

I am willing to accept my imperfections and to grow up.  My old response would have been to defend myself, because I couldn’t handle making mistakes.  I know better, and understand my language has consequences.  I make mistakes.  I can survive justified criticism.

Thanks to my friend who cares enough to help me grow.

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