chit chat

September 12th, 2017

little bit of this, little bit of that

Someone said, “You come into this world alone, and you go out alone. The rest is chit-chat.”  They’ve got a point. Chit chat defines small talk, chatter, gossip and prattle. Maybe it even defines deep thoughtful learning and life changing conversation.  Chit chat seems to have a semantic tone of ‘prattle’ or insignificance, but does it really have to be there?  If I am alone in life, which is true, any interaction that I deem valuable comes from my perception.  It could the first conversation, or maybe the last, but the impact expands or diminishes based on how I assess its value.


My senior high school class voted me ‘easiest to talk to’ and I valued that award.  I’m into talking, chit chat, or call it whatever.  It’s a big part of writing these blogs.   I know the moment chit chat occurs that matters most.  It’s not the talking, but it’s the being together.

But not always.  Once I hurt my dear friend’s feelings by saying, “Sometimes I just tune you out.”  It was true, I didn’t listen to her, but why say it and make it so obvious?  I wasn’t diplomatic with my words, and should have said nothing. I did apologize, but truth put a wedge between us for awhile.  I know I’ve been tuned out by other people who didn’t say so, but I felt dismissed.  It’s rude, plain and simple.

Sometimes I don’t want to hear anybody else, because my thoughts run rampantly in my head and I barely have room for another observation, especially if I’m working something out.  Other people do what they do, too, and we are all humans.

Is chit chat a dismissive type of conversation, or is seeing interaction as a realistic observation?  Social gatherings usually contain heaps of chit chat.  Does that make them less valuable than some deep philosophical insight between God and man?

When my dogs want attention, they come up and demand it from me.  They put up their paws on the side of my chair and say, Pet Me.  A trainer told me to ignore the dog because they are calling the shots at that moment.  She believed a master should be the master all the time, therefore in charge of all interactions.  My dogs just wants me to pet them.  Isn’t that their form of chit chat?

“I just called to say I love you.” Stevie Wonder’s fabulous song is sort of a definition of chit chat.  Maybe we can be grateful somebody wants to chit chat, or call to say they love us, and they do not run away or find something else to do.

We are humans being.  Being.  Not been.  When chit chat ends, we end.  I’m glad for distractions to keep me from constantly thinking about ‘big’ picture relevancies.  I get preoccupied with my own thoughts to a point where I forget about chit chat. Internal thinking doesn’t need language, but can take us away from the present moment.

When I make things, I am in that zone of being.  It’s so pleasant to work beside another artist, or listen to a story or music while I work.  I love passing time making something and chit chatting in any form. It seems like the best of both worlds.



4 responses to “chit chat”

  1. Maryann Gravitt says:

    i totally disagree that ‘we are alone when we come into this world and alone when we leave.’ i have not been with a human at the moment of birth, but i have been with many at the moment of “death” and there is an energy present – – call it “god”, call it the energy of the universe, call it “love” – – whatever it is, it is with us, even if another human is not experiencing the moment. AND, yes, there is a LOT of chit-chat that goes on in between, but there is so much more that also passes between two people having an honest conversation. would you call your conversation with your former dentist chit-chat? i cannot believe that we are on this planet, in this human form, to chit-chat.

    • Pru Starr says:

      I completely agree with the ‘energy’ you experienced at the moment of ‘death’ because I have also been witness to that. We can call it whatever, including chit-chat, if you like. Perhaps ‘chit chat’ sounds frivolous, but it doesn’t have to be considered that, since it is a process. Regarding my chat with my friend, I would call it a chit chat, but our connection went deeper because we talked of coping with suicide.

  2. I love thinking about this idea. When I think of chit chat, I think of two people being pushed into having a polite conversation- ya know, kind of stuck together- its awkward or uncomfortable, but i think its about me not feeling like I can be my self with that person or somehow I don’t fit in with them. Now, chit chat with that person that really wants to know me, or wants to know how I’m really doing or is so comfortable in their skin, that somehow I get the green light to be totally me? Thats can be the best time, the best chit chat ever- the chit chat that makes friends and quilting bees and laughter and community and that I want. I love to chit chat if i can be myself, is this all in my head? why or how to be myself, can I be myself even if I feel i cant relate with this other person? hmm- maybe I will experiment with that today, Im going to chit chat it up and see what happens. Thanks for this post Pru, I love that it makes me want to share my feelings or thoughts even though i have judgment whether what I think is relevant or not.

    • Pru Starr says:

      Wonderful! You nailed the difference about social chit chat, and went deep into our psyches. I really appreciate this comment.

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