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Friending and Unfriending

October 20th, 2015
water

water is everything

The recent Butte fire was so devastating to Calaveras County with 71 thousand burned acres, and 500 people losing their homes.  Three hours west in the Bay Area, people barely heard about Butte fire, and the Valley fire from Lake County got more attention.

When I got back from a week’s evacuation, I ‘unfriended’ people from my facebook account because they didn’t ask what went down with my family’s evacuation.  I am no longer interested in facebook friendships.  People who care about me would let me know they cared about how we dealt with the fire.  Maybe that’s not true.  Oh, well.  I’ve got fewer ‘friends.’ Continue reading “Friending and Unfriending” »

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responding to ‘persuasion’

October 13th, 2015

Deep feelings need honest music, a line between loneliness and a hopeful language.  Can I repair something that was never there in the first place?  I cannot control what others think and do, but I try to manipulate the way others see me. Continue reading “responding to ‘persuasion’” »

surviving Butte fire

October 6th, 2015
downtown west point's fire proximity

West Point made it

We lost power and experienced mandatory evacuation for a week. Now survivors stand around our town feeling stunned that the place wasn’t demolished by the flames.

The Butte fire ferociously erupted three weeks ago, and over 500 Calaveras county homes were burned to the ground not far from West Point.  Some of us can’t believe we’re so lucky. Continue reading “surviving Butte fire” »

watching her grow

September 29th, 2015
Palm Beach circa 1900 - 1906. Reproduced from the collections of the Library of Congress.

Palm Beach circa 1900 – 1906. Reproduced from the collections of the Library of Congress.

My cousin is very brave when it comes to facing her feelings, and for years she’s practiced coping skills to help her with reactions from people who don’t want to discuss unpleasantries.

Several cousins got together for a picnic, and I listened to my cousin handle topics that truly used to terrify her.  She knows how to use skills like recognizing painful emotion when they appear, naming her deep experience and staying in direct contact with temporary negative emotion.  She responds honestly about how she feels by using specific language. Continue reading “watching her grow” »

Early times

September 8th, 2015

my mother grew up in a house like this

Our house had no mirrors, except for the medicine cabinet in our tiny bathroom.   I sat in the sink after my baths with my hair twisted up in a towel, staring into my tiny reflection, grooving on how glamorous I was in a turban.   Continue reading “Early times” »

I wish he knew

July 7th, 2015
sunrise over the ocean

sunrise over ocean

I love music so much.  I remember where and when songs played in my life. My first kiss occurred in seventh grade, with George, under a pool table at Korinne Koltoff’s house, while her juke box played the Beach Boys’ Surfer Girl. My friends loved the Beatles, but I resonated with Brian Wilson Beach Boys’ harmonies and their tender sounds. I was a Stinson Beach body surfer girl. Continue reading “I wish he knew” »

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Living through a negative emotion

June 16th, 2015
better to get it over with

better to get it over with

I’ve struggled with understanding my emotions, because they are often confusing and overwhelming to me. My personality wants to quickly understand my ‘feeling’ and get the hell out of it as soon as possible.  I often have tried to act my way out of feeling uncomfortable. Continue reading “Living through a negative emotion” »

Spiritual walking

May 26th, 2015
Spain-Camino-de-Santiago1

a typical sight on the Camino

I recently made a ten day spiritual walking pilgrimage to Galicia, Spain and the Camino, the way of St. James.  This ancient pilgrimage is 850 km long through Spain, over a thousand years old, and has had a huge resurgence in the last fifteen years. There are many trails, and I only did a small part of it.  It goes lots of places, from France, Portugal, Europe, as far away as Hungary.  The French pilgrimage takes at least two months to walk.   I’m glad to have walked some of it. Continue reading “Spiritual walking” »

I’m working to get your attention

May 12th, 2015

synopsis_after-bulldozersFast forward in the flow and I’m an elder, writing about friends and family.  Once I was just a girl living with ghosts, but not all the ghosts are dead.  I’m trying to make sense of things from the stories of my life. Continue reading “I’m working to get your attention” »

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