
prayers for us all
fitting new faith on top of my old Continue reading “trust” »
prayers for us all
fitting new faith on top of my old Continue reading “trust” »
I wrote my first manuscript for Lindy, my best friend from junior high school. Lindy was placed in a mental institution in 1968, and still lives in one. California made her a ward of the state, and she moves wherever the state wants her, not always notifying family. Authorities considered her release to some type of halfway house fifteen years ago, but it didn’t happen. Continue reading “my old friend” »
My grandmother Brown was in her eighties when she moved from Baltimore to live with us. She had nowhere else to go. Neighbors helped my mother convert our garage into her bedroom, with a portable heater. My grandma shipped her stuff in moving crates to Tiburon, and somehow I was in charge of unboxing, deciding values of things I knew nothing about. Continue reading “roots of confusion” »
smoking weed started off as fun
Lindy was my best friend in junior high and I spent the night with her almost every weekend. Her room had double French doors with brass handles opening onto a tiny porch, enough for two sleeping bags. I memorized the sparkling Richardson Bay skyline looking out toward Sausalito streetlights. Standing like the Supremes, we practiced Stop In The Name Of Love, moving in unison like we were on stage, synchronizing arm movements, making stop, like Diana Ross. Continue reading “loose cannons” »
birds in flight
William Butler Yeats wrote The Second Coming in 1919 in the aftermath of World War I . Continue reading “what is coming?” »
Lindy’s house was like a mansion
Lindy was my best friend from the day I met her in junior high school. I was the tallest kid in school, shy, and full-on puberty chunky. Lindy was short and stocky, and ran with popular kids from her elementary school. I copied her, and we hung out on weekends with her sisters and their friends, smokers and wine drinkers. Continue reading “Feeling like a poor relation” »
eucalyptus heaven
I felt at home in every inch of a twenty-foot eucalyptus bending over the gully bottom behind our house. Too high to jump, I hugged that tree like family, scooting along limbs, petrified of making one deadly mistake that might break my neck. I crawl-walked monkey style, maneuvering my arms and legs around the gnarled cross branch up to my safest nest, carrying my dolls in my teeth, like a wild orphan, looking down at my friend like a giant. Continue reading “comforting branches” »
Pancho had a temper and looked like this
Pancho was the name of all the bulls who lived on the Reed Station ranch in the 1940’s and 1950’s, before our Tiburon subdivision was developed. I knew Pancho’s successor as a child. He was mean, didn’t have a nose ring, and lived in the lower corral up the dirt path from our house. I walked up to the corral, leaned over the fence and watched him stand around chewing dry grass, staring straight ahead. Continue reading “my own bullfight” »
I dove and never wanted to come up
When I was twelve, my father blacked out at the nearby Strawberry recreation pool and slipped on its deck, split his elbow open, blood everywhere. I don’t know how he made it home. The next morning, he sat outside on our patio, remorseful and bloated, with a huge white gauze bandage around his punctured elbow. Continue reading “drunk man’s daughter” »
beautiful moon
The first time I really gazed at the moon was when I lived a hippie life in an Southern Oregon cabin on Coleman Creek. My friends and I rented a little red house with woodstove and outhouse in the middle of the woods. Continue reading “moon gazing” »