
Imagining Joe’s homing pidgeons

homing pidgeon
me in Mexico
I don’t remember the moment my heart started beating, but I’m paying attention now. My heart continues to beat and I’ll breathe while I tell you what is true. When I started writing, I did not expect to board what feels like a skyrocket. Continue reading “would you want to read this?” »
talking helps
“How are you doing?”
“Fine…”
“No, how are YOU REALLY doing?”
An indigenous basketmaking man named Richard lives in our town, and we’ve had occasional conversations through the years. It’s not like we’re close, but we like each other. As I drove by the other day, I saw him alongside Highway 88 cutting willow branches into a pile. I made a u-turn and parked my car. Continue reading “eye to eye and win/win” »
rocket to Pluto
My husband and I had a conversation this morning, and he told me that he watched a NASA station program discussing the ongoing success of the flyby of Pluto, the 9th dwarf planet we set out to examine nine years ago. It is a voyage to the outskirts of Pluto. We both wondered why this amazing human endeavor receives so little attention in the media. I want to express my appreciation to those who worked so hard. Continue reading “making dreams come true” »
sunrise over ocean
I love music so much. I remember where and when songs played in my life. My first kiss occurred in seventh grade, with George, under a pool table at Korinne Koltoff’s house, while her juke box played the Beach Boys’ Surfer Girl. My friends loved the Beatles, but I resonated with Brian Wilson Beach Boys’ harmonies and their tender sounds. I was a Stinson Beach body surfer girl. Continue reading “I wish he knew” »
Craig is so beautiful
I didn’t quit my job, just took a leave of absence, in case I hated the fifteen feet of rain that falls annually in Craig, Alaska. I bought Tim’s new Honda Civic because he was too cheap to give it to me, and parked it at my mother’s for a month while I took a vacation in Baja, Mexico, with a friend in her small RV.
We drove through south and central Mexico, to Guymas, and I had a fling with a charming Argentine-Italian from Cupertino with a sexy voice who was also a teacher. We sat under dried palm fronds during the day,played in Mulege’s phosphorescent water at night and drank tequilla, which still flattened my ass. One night we watched the grunion run, incredible army of silver fish swimming to the shore.
After vacation, I drove from Portland to Seattle’s ferry terminal with my Honda packed to about an inch off the ground. The blue plastic tarpolin on top of the car ripped to shreds on my way up the freeway. I pulled off to retie it, shaking on the side of the freeway, alone with my two tranquilized cats inside.
I boarded the Columbia, a big ferry, and left Seattle from the harbor with the space needle poking up into the sky. Goodbye city life, I’m fading into the sunset, in God’s hands. It’s now up to him, her, it, the force, cosmic consciousness, whatever.
In pre-dawn hours the Columbia smoothly rounded a South Eastern corner of the inland passage, Alaska’s Marine Highway. My sleepy eyes focused on the horizon of Ketchikan’s multi-colored lights, twinkling like a Queen’s jeweled bracelet. That early August morning, in the water after a rain, fog, and silvery blue-black sky, wilderness wrapped itself around me, smelling of coastal cedars, hemlock, spruce and pine. I was a chechaquo- a greenhorn, newcomer- preparing to spend my first winter in Alaska. Ketchikan was the last city I saw before sailing west to Prince of Wales Island on the smaller ferry, Aurora.
I unloaded my car off the Colombia as dawn began to glow, and nothing was open at the Ketchikan dock, so I drove five miles down the only main street, Tongass, along the water’s edge, until I reached the historic old boardwalk and creek area. I peeked through windows slowly as I drove along, and parked on the street.
A tall, stringbean of a man in fishing boots and old Army jacket came out of the Shamrock Bar across the street and loped toward me. He saw my car, circled around it in about four steps.
“Your car’s PACKED!”
“Yeah, I’m moving up here.”
“I mean, it’s JAM-PACKED!”
“Yeah.”
“You’ve got two cats in there?” he peered into the car with his hands shoved in his jacket.
“I’ve got two cats in the box in the passenger seat.”
“My God. I never saw anything like it.” His head hovering over the top of my car, he said, “You’re chechaquo, all right. Let me show you something.”
He motioned to follow him as he turned on his heel, dance-hopped, and jumped toward the creek, waving his arms, laughing like Nathaniel Hawthorne’s Ichabod Crane, looking back at me. We crossed to the top of the bridge, and he pointed toward Ketchikan Creek.
“Ketchikan means stinking fish. In the old days, fish were so thick a man could walk across their backs!”
I looked over and saw solid teeming black mass made of the backs of salmon. Laughing at my huge eyes and half-opened mouth, he said, “I love showing this creek to newcomers. No one can believe it!”
I boarded my car onto the Aurora ferry. Clouds disappeared, revealing a royal blue sky, and the sun shone in horizontal beams creating long shadows. We passed abandoned villages like Old Kassan, New Kassan, with their corresponding old and new totem poles still colored richly, and dried up fishing skiffs moored along the rocky shore.
One of the car deck hands invited me to the bridge to introduce me to the captain and watch them navigate. The captain wore silver wire rim glasses and a uniform, looking to me like Mark Twain on a Mississippi River boat, his square, rugged face framed by thinning, gray hair. I stood in back and watched everything. Eventually, the Captain let me steer using the shiny, wooden knobby wheel.
“The Inland Passage is like a great highway of water, and we navigate it using landmarks such as these islands and reefs,” he explained.
Hundreds of tiny islands with only a few trees came and went. Though I didn’t see them I knew that all through the Southeast Alaska wilderness I was surrounded by bald eagles, ravens, wolves, and black bears, wild rams, and orca whales.
We arrived at Hollis ferry terminal, Prince of Wales Island’s only stop. The ten foot by twenty foot wooden office stood next to a ramp leading to the only road, and there was no town at Hollis and no pavement, just thirty miles of dirt logging roads running west to Craig. My car almost bottomed out on the ramp, and it took me over an hour to drive the gravely miles to downtown.
The sun was low when Craig, population nine hundred, came into view, with its mixture of trailers and wooden homes built on a smaller island. A one-lane bridge connected the island and its fishing marina to another marina. Main Street was a loop. No stop lights, one stop sign in the heart of town. Children in down vests and jeans walked down the center of the street, stepping aside to stare at my car as I passed by. Large trawler and seine fishing boats docked; seasonal workers milled around nets. This was unlike anyplace else on Earth I had ever seen, and it was a dream.
I passed an orange Bronco jeep, and the driver had his window rolled down. We exchanged eye contact, and he smiled at me.
“Wow” I thought, that smile was worth driving up for.
a typical sight on the Camino
I recently made a ten day spiritual walking pilgrimage to Galicia, Spain and the Camino, the way of St. James. This ancient pilgrimage is 850 km long through Spain, over a thousand years old, and has had a huge resurgence in the last fifteen years. There are many trails, and I only did a small part of it. It goes lots of places, from France, Portugal, Europe, as far away as Hungary. The French pilgrimage takes at least two months to walk. I’m glad to have walked some of it. Continue reading “Spiritual walking” »
baby legs are fabulous
Today I saw a mom looking for art supplies while carrying her six month old cherub in an ergonamically correct backpack. I flashed back to when I used to do that, not so long ago.
Where does the time go? Time crawls and then is gone so quickly. It didn’t seem to be a big deal, like I was forever going to walk my baby through an art store. I gently reached out and touched the baby’s chubby leg and he didn’t even notice. So many memories of love and miracle flashed back.
That little leg gave me hope. Someday he would crawl, and then would be a toddler. My mother in-law used to say her child rearing days were “the best days of her life” and she really loved her boys. She was a great mom, and her strapping men are noble, with deep integrity. I hope my sons are as good as hers.
Something about the mom reminded me of when I made CINDY in 1995. Cindy was one of my most important sculptures up to that time. Here’s the story:
who are the fish?
perception on the past and the past on perception
I’m a kid or all grown up
life in a tank or a creek
I grab the sleek who says it really happened?
time like a slippery goldfish
ten gallon tank
kitchen sink
while washing dishes I watch my tank remembering Strawberry’s fair
I won tiny goldfish who traveled home in a plastic bag
the bag burst and fish flopped on our car mat
I’d never seen that before
I picked him up with my hands
Alaska creek on Prince of Wales Island
at the beginning or end of a given day
I splash in a stream
and picked up a coho salmon all squirm with my bare hands
Mt.Tamalpais is amazing
I’m grateful to live in Northern California. My family moved here decades ago, and my parents remained until they passed away. My husband and I raised our two sons in Southern Marin, until they grew up and moved out on their own.
February has been especially remarkable in Marin County this year, full of clear and blue days. Daytime temperatures range in the mid-sixties, cooler evenings. Sunset light gleams in perfect, lucid pink clouds, orange and golden. The two days of raging rain flash turned surrounding hills iridescent green, like Heaven. Continue reading “Spring in Marin is so beautiful” »